one book closes and yet another book opens

i carry your heart with me
by: e. e. cummings
i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go you go,my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing,
my darling
i fear no fate
for you are my fate,
my sweet i want no world
for beautiful you are my world,
my true and it's you are whatever a moon has always meantand whatever a sun will always sing is youhere is the deepest secret nobody knowshere is the root of the root and the bud of the budand the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hideand this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart



Things here in Guadalajara have been winding down. With only 10 days left, I am begining to feel it all set in. I love it here. I love the people. I love my fellow "gringos" probably as much as i will ever love a group of people. living with people day in and day out, eating with them, sleeping in the same house as they do, spending all of your days together, having funny stores and inside jokes together, then leaving.... its just not natural. its not natural to allow people to enter your life and forever be embedded into your heart, then to be able to leave them behind, probably never to see them again.

Ive been crying since Saturday. Well, off and on. I think with the stress of finals, being so tired i think i am going to overdose on coffee, then attempting to walk away from these people that i love so dearly....its working on me. and so, i have yet to go a day without a full on cry. Each and every day i come up with a new "this is the last time..." This is the last time Ill go to church with Angela, this is the last week I will go to the office (even as much as I HATE going to the office two days a week), tomorrow is possibly the LAST time i will go to San Juan. They are all lasts.

And with lasts, comes first. I mean, soemthing has to happen after you say your lasts? Right? Even after one has their LAST breath, they will continue in eternity. Wherever that may be. So, why are LASTS so hard? Stinkin emotions. Anyways, if someone can answer that for me, I will be grateful. I hope to see all of these people again, my life will never be the same without them in it so some degree. Although we will never be here again, in this moment, in this city, all together like we have been since September, at least I hope to keep them around. Ive kinda gotten used to them!





"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart."-Anon