My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

Emotion : a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body


We as humans have tons of emotions. Good emotions, bad emotions, mixed emotions. We are designed to have feelings--good or bad….painful or joyful. What if we put these emotions that we have into God? The effort and emotions that we put into getting the guy of our dreams, or restoring the broken friendship that we care about so much. Seeing someone that you love-whether it be friend or a secret admirer--and having them take your breathe away. What if we got that way about God each time we had an encounter with Him? Just a passing by, just as we do with people in our lives. I saw a friend todayfrom across the parking lot, they barely made any acknowledgement of me, but even then, my heart leaped. Maybe just for a second, but it happened. That person probably never realized how I felt, but why is it that I can have a moment like that about someone who doesn’t even want to speak to me, but I cant feel that way about my Lord and Savior who died for me? Or why do I feel the way about the guy who probably never thinks about me unless we run into one another yet I have my Prince with me all the time, and I don’t feel that way about Him 90% of the time. Why are we like this? I want to have such a strong emotion for my King, my Savior, my Friend, my Lover….that my heart constantly pitter patters when I think of Him.

You're my strength when stregth is gone

You're my hope when suffering's long

but most of all, when i cant find peace,

You're there for me.

You're my everything.

All I am God is Your's

You don’t know what you got til its gone

I was blessed to be able to come down for a short visit with my family the last couple of days. It breaks my heart each time I have to drive away from this place-whether I show it or not. I love my family. They’ve grown a lot closer to me as I have entered into adulthood and moved away from home.

I have become closer to my father and more comfortable around him than ever before. Doug [my brother] and I have finally became the siblings I had always hoped for. There’s always room for improvement, but 10 years ago, I NEVER would have thought we’d be here. No yelling, [well, no need to lie-MOST of the time no yelling], no fighting, and I can actually get a hug or an “I love you” out of him on rare occasions. But I LOVE those rare occasions because they are becoming less rare as time goes on. And that makes my heart smile.

My mom and I have a relationship that I never could have imagined. She’s honestly my best friend in the world. There with me through thick and thin, and always willing to lend an ear or give a big hug. If you know my mom at all, you know straight off the bat how soft-spoken and sweet she is. [she’s basically the exact opposite of my dad and I--LOL]. She’ll give anything to the people that she loves and NEVER EVER EVER ask anything in return. I could give her the world and it wouldn’t be close to all the things that I owe her which she never asks anything back from. She “loans” me money [knowing she’ll never get it back], she cries everyday because I’m driving a moped in the rain-something I don’t have that big of a problem with, but my mom cant do anything but cry knowing that her baby girl is riding around in the rain. She gives and gives and gives. Her children and her grandchildren she would rope the moon for and catch every star in the sky for. She would give the clothes off her back, the food off her plate, and every last cent she has in her wallet.

Being away from my mom and becoming an adult has made me realize that I want to be just like her. I think about it every now and then. But tonight, as my mom had tears streaming down her face talking about how she cried every day because I haven’t had a stinkin car the last few months. Something, I was doing without and although I wasn’t always happy about it [who really ever is?], I was making it and I had learned to deal with it at least until the time was right. My mom brings me to Alabama just so she can do everything in her power to get me a car….I’m telling ya. You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone. I never would have imagined this 10 years ago, and I could never ever ever ask for anything better.

pictures

Im kinda proud of my pictures.....no way around it. =]

my apartment

HOUSTON

how do you win back the heart of someone who has broken yours?

isnt it funny in life how you cant seem to let some things go. the guy you've had a crush on for a while, your favorite pair of old tennis shoes, or even an old friend. we are all creatures of habit. people who long to be loved, and how cherish the things that are close to our hearts.....yeah, even tennis shoes.

to forvive : to cease to feel resentment against

"i forgive you".....but do they really? does forgiveness mean to forgive and forget or "ill just say it to make you and myself feel better". according to webster, it means to not feel resentment against and resentment means a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury. now that being said, if someone tells you they forgive you, but you still feel in your heart of hearts that they dont want to be around you or that they hold harsh feelings towards you, does that mean that they have truly forgiven you? i mean, Jesus said it best when he said "Forgive others just as I have forgiven you".....that to me, if the true definition of forgiveness. If I do a dishonor to Jesus or I hurt His feelings, or i screw up our friendship, and He forgives me, does that mean He still in His heart of hearts holds a grudge towards me? NOT AT ALL!! now, i know we are mere humans and in no way could i be as forgiving as Jesus, but shouldnt that be what we strive for every day? What else is our purpose? I want to be like my Maker. And although i know i fail miserably each and every day, I should still press on, and try to forgive others. Not simply be content where Im at in holding my grudge and having my "healing time"....but to do my best and try to be like He would want me to be. to try and forgive others just as He forgives me.....just as He forgives every person. even the men who hung Him on the cross.