You don’t know what you got til its gone

I was blessed to be able to come down for a short visit with my family the last couple of days. It breaks my heart each time I have to drive away from this place-whether I show it or not. I love my family. They’ve grown a lot closer to me as I have entered into adulthood and moved away from home.

I have become closer to my father and more comfortable around him than ever before. Doug [my brother] and I have finally became the siblings I had always hoped for. There’s always room for improvement, but 10 years ago, I NEVER would have thought we’d be here. No yelling, [well, no need to lie-MOST of the time no yelling], no fighting, and I can actually get a hug or an “I love you” out of him on rare occasions. But I LOVE those rare occasions because they are becoming less rare as time goes on. And that makes my heart smile.

My mom and I have a relationship that I never could have imagined. She’s honestly my best friend in the world. There with me through thick and thin, and always willing to lend an ear or give a big hug. If you know my mom at all, you know straight off the bat how soft-spoken and sweet she is. [she’s basically the exact opposite of my dad and I--LOL]. She’ll give anything to the people that she loves and NEVER EVER EVER ask anything in return. I could give her the world and it wouldn’t be close to all the things that I owe her which she never asks anything back from. She “loans” me money [knowing she’ll never get it back], she cries everyday because I’m driving a moped in the rain-something I don’t have that big of a problem with, but my mom cant do anything but cry knowing that her baby girl is riding around in the rain. She gives and gives and gives. Her children and her grandchildren she would rope the moon for and catch every star in the sky for. She would give the clothes off her back, the food off her plate, and every last cent she has in her wallet.

Being away from my mom and becoming an adult has made me realize that I want to be just like her. I think about it every now and then. But tonight, as my mom had tears streaming down her face talking about how she cried every day because I haven’t had a stinkin car the last few months. Something, I was doing without and although I wasn’t always happy about it [who really ever is?], I was making it and I had learned to deal with it at least until the time was right. My mom brings me to Alabama just so she can do everything in her power to get me a car….I’m telling ya. You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone. I never would have imagined this 10 years ago, and I could never ever ever ask for anything better.