I was looking back at my life today. Thinking about all of the hard times and struggles that I've been through over the last few years. The moments where I blamed God for all of my selfishness, sin, pride, and hurt. The days where I thought I wasn't going to make it thru. The nights when I cried myself to sleep. The months that were full of doubt that God could bring me thru to a sunnier tomorrow. Those were the times when I felt all alone, like He had walked out on me and had left me to just die in my misery. It really was that bad. I can remember trying to fill my time with pointless things of this world. I can also remember my heart being so angry at God for tearing my life apart, that I had such hatred. I prayed for a sunnier tomorrow.
That prayer wasn't answered until about 3 years later. These are the days that I'm living in now where I can finally walk in joy. Where I can know that my God loves me and does watch over me. Without a shadow of a doubt I know that God was with me during the rough times of my life. The nights that I cried myself to sleep. That He was right there, crying as I cried. Crying that I had put myself in a situation where I saw no way out. Crying that I had blamed Him for something that was totally and completely my fault. During all of that time I had given up on God, but He had never given up on me. We don't realize that as we are going through struggles in life. Some people may never realize it, but as I sit here today, I almost feel overwhelmed at the one true Love I have been given. The Peace that passes all understanding. The hand that holds my hand every day.
No comments:
Post a Comment